Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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