Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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