Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
