She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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