Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
