Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
