you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize