Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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