It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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