dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
