My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
