dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
