I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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