Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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