okay pat passed out under dana's car
Define "chronic" masturbator.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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