Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize