He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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