On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize