i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
