it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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