I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
tell me about the fingering
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