i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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