I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
