Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
