she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
