is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
