love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
