hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
