he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
