Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
