P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
