new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
