what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
