i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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