Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
please don't ironically join a cult
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