No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
