What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
