My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
