i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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