Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
