She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize