either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
