We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
