so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
