I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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