the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
