Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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