from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
