R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
