wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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