Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
