Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
