what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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