i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
