we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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