Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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