Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
