HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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