I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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