pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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