dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
