i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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