I am in a vortex of obligation.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
